Otherwise known as Trying To Get My Kids To Cooperate.
This morning saw HUGE meltdowns/tantrums/behavioural stuff from both boys.
Jay is being bullied at school and Moo is…I don’t know. Bored? Having problems with his teacher? Fed up with pretending to be a human being? All of the above? Anyway, neither of them wanted to go to school. Both started self-harming (scratching, hitting their heads, in Moo’s case headbutting a door) so I decided to keep them off again.
This is not ideal.
Firstly, because they need an education.
Secondly, I will eventually get into trouble with the school.
Thirdly, I need space.
They agreed to do school at home and I spent 45 minutes using their homework books to rough out ‘lessons’ for the day.
Time they spent working = 3-ish minutes.
Time they spent complaining = 25 minutes.
I thought that I’d found a fairly straightforward solution to a slightly knotty problem. But no.
I’ve looked into homeschooling previously, but I honestly don’t think I can do it (not being massively academic myself, plus Moo runs rings around me). In an ideal world I would, because neither of the boys deals well with the real world, and because I could teach at their pace. But I can’t.
So I looked at moving schools. The nearest school is over subscribed, and there’s no point going to a school which is even further away, because the commute is one of the stress triggers. So that’s out.
Next up was running away (one of my favourite back-up plans) but running away never solved anything… Apparently.
Net result of today: two hours on the phone to my sister (thanks, Kris!) not crying, but using Creative Anglo-Saxonisms to express my feelings, and the vague feeling that, yet again, I’ve effed this all up.
There is a solution to this problem. I will find it. I will support, encourage, defend and occasionally kick the butts of my kids. They will get the chances they need and the love they deserve.
And I will eat junk and sublimate my feelings because…Just because. 😄