Linear Thinking in Seventeen and a Half Dimensions

Otherwise known as Trying To Get My Kids To Cooperate.

This morning saw HUGE meltdowns/tantrums/behavioural stuff from both boys. 

Jay is being bullied at school and Moo is…I don’t know. Bored? Having problems with his teacher? Fed up with pretending to be a human being? All of the above? Anyway, neither of them wanted to go to school. Both started self-harming (scratching, hitting their heads, in Moo’s case headbutting a door) so I decided to keep them off again.

This is not ideal. 

Firstly, because they need an education.

Secondly, I will eventually get into trouble with the school.

Thirdly, I need space.

They agreed to do school at home and I spent 45 minutes using their homework books to rough out ‘lessons’ for the day.

Time they spent working = 3-ish minutes.

Time they spent complaining = 25 minutes.

I thought that I’d found a fairly straightforward solution to a slightly knotty problem. But no.

I’ve looked into homeschooling previously, but I honestly don’t think I can do it (not being massively academic myself, plus Moo runs rings around me). In an ideal world I would, because neither of the boys deals well with the real world, and because I could teach at their pace. But I can’t.

So I looked at moving schools. The nearest school is over subscribed, and there’s no point going to a school which is even further away, because the commute is one of the stress triggers. So that’s out.

Next up was running away (one of my favourite back-up plans) but running away never solved anything… Apparently.

Net result of today: two hours on the phone to my sister (thanks, Kris!) not crying, but using Creative Anglo-Saxonisms to express my feelings, and the vague feeling that, yet again, I’ve effed this all up.

There is a solution to this problem. I will find it. I will support, encourage, defend and occasionally kick the butts of my kids. They will get the chances they need and the love they deserve.

And I will eat junk and sublimate my feelings because…Just because. 😄

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