I hate plans.
I have tried many (many, many) times over the forty years I’ve been on the planet to write myself timetables on order to better manage my days, and after many (many, many, many) frustrating and fruitless attempts, I finally – yesterday, aged 40 years, one month and eleven days* – realised something key:
I do not function well with order. Structure makes me rebel. The feeling I have to do something means I will dedicate stupid amounts of time and energy to procrastination and avoidance. Net result: tasks left undone, feelings of guilt and anger, 200g of Dairymilk mysteriously vanished. Oh noes!
If my mum reads this, she will by this point have rolled her eyes hard enough to strain her optic nerve (sorry mum).
Anyway, over the last week I have been trying a new style of household management which I am calling The Benevolent and Chaotic Dictatorship. I wake up each day with a rough idea of what needs to be done, and by and large it’s getting done! I am (mostly) kindly bullying Paul and the kids into cooperating with me – the rule is, I don’t mind doing everything, but they will jolly well butt out and let me do it my way. And it works!
It’s quite difficult to mesh the needs of five people at the best of times, but when one of the five is a fluffy, aimless, squirrel-brained mañana-queen, and the other four are order freaks in need of excessive amounts of regulation and structure, it’s nigh-impossible…But me being a little tugboat towing the Good Ship Bruce about somewhat haphazardly works**.
I mean, humans being what they are, it may not be working this time next week, but hey ho. I’ve had a week (and counting) of efficiency*** and calm and feeling like I can actually Do The Thing, and that’s priceless…Right?
*Lessons worth learning take time. Or something. Oh, shush 😛
**This mental image amuses me; I just need to stop giggling long enough to watch out for hazards in the water.
***For a given and somewhat…Flexible value of ‘efficient’.